We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
