physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
