my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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