She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
