I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
