WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
