Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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