we're blogging at a bar
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
