We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
