It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize