Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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