The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
