Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
