haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
