how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Small penises have feelings too.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize