Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
