New low: just hacked my moms facebook
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
