doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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