i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
