I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
