Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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