Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
