I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
