You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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