dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Randomize
