Heybabeimwearingurpanties
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize