Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
