P.S. I can't hear my feet
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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