i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
