Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
