There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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