I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
