Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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