I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
