When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
