It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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