did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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