i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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