Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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