Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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