Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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