no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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