Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
