Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
