And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
