This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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