lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
