so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
