Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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