When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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