Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
3 2 1 whiskey
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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