Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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