38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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