Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
