Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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