This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
