there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
