you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize