they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
