Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
