Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
