So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
